Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Birthday Lord

Light of the world
You step down into darkness
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore you
hope of a life spent with you

And here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that you're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days
Oh so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly you came to the earth you created
All for love's sake became poor

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that you're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross

Because of Your great love,
You humble Yourself and came down to us
As a light that shines
So beamingly in the darkness...

How beautiful, is the name of Jesus,
How innocent and blameless, is the baby in the manger,
How wonderful, is the man he is going to grow up to be,
How indescribable, is His love...

Happy Birthday,
my Lord, my King, my Savior
my everything

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas is a time to love

Christmas is a time
Christmas is a time
Christmas is a time to love...

We often start to worry,
and people get upset,
when things all don't go right on Christmas day.
What we should remember,
in all the push and shove,
is Christmas is a time to love.

Maybe things don't sound right,
or look the way they should,
or maybe they're not perfectly in tune.
It really doesn't matter,
let's keep our eyes above,
Cos Christmas is a time to love.

Christmas is a time

Christmas is a time

Christmas is a time to love.

Cos Christmas is a time to love...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Beautiful Whisper

The faces that Moses had begged to see – was forbidden to see – was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth’s rebellion now twisted around his own brow...

“On your back with you!”

One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier’s heart continue pumping as he readies the prisoner’s wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier’s life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breathe to is lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do “all things hold together (Colossians 1:17) The victim wills that the soldier live on – he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.

As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm – the sensations it would be capable of. The designs prove flawless – the nerves perform exquisitely. “Up you go!” They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an earthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being – the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father’s eye turns brown with rot.
His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shrivelling remnant of a man hanging on the cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognise these eyes.

“Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped – murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten – fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk- you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raoing virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp – buying politicians, practicing exhortation, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves – relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?”

Of course the Son is innocent. He is blameless itself. The Father knows this. But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place. Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever committed.

The Father watches as his heart’s treasure, the mirror image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah’s stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

“Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!”

But heaven stop its ears. The Son has stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled it. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished.

Taken from Boy Meets Girls by Joshua Harris
Originated from When God Weeps by Steven Estes and Joni Eareckson Tada


Always thought that the bloody scene on the cross is something that couldn’t be more familiar about. Of how the most innocent blameless man being hung there for dying for our sins, of how each nail was pierced into his flesh nailing to it sins that we commit, of how every drop of blood that dripped wash and wipe away with it the ugly and gruesome of our past, of how a Father chose to turn away when His most beloved and precious Son cries out to Him.

Yet im reminded. I could have never know it enough. I could have never picture it perfectly of every pain He had gone through for me. I could have never figured out who am i to deserve such grace when i am supposed to pay the price for my own sins, He paid it for me.

Why the Cross?

Because sinners have no other hope...

Why the Cross?

Because it is the unassailable proof that we can be forgiven...

Just as im asking wondering why should i deserve such ocean depth of love and forgiveness, i heard Him whispered,

“It’s not what you have done, it’s what my Son has done for you.”

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me

I would never stop to be amazed by You...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Season in His hands

For everything there is a season,
A time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die
A time to plant and a time to harvest
A time to kill and a time to heal
A time to tear down and a time to build up
A time to cry and a time to laugh
A time to grieve and a time to dance
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones
A time to embrace and a time to turn away
A time to search and a time to quit searching
A time to keep and a time to throw away
A time to tear and a time to mend
A time to be quiet and a time to speak
A time to love and a time to hate
A time for war and a time for peace

Eccelesiates 3: 1-8

Sometimes it takes so much
To yield to Your perfect plan
To the Time that You hold in Your hands.
But I’m learning
Learning to submit
With all i am.
Learning to let You
Slowly heal the wounds
That hurts.

Its the season again
A time to take hold and a time to let go
I’m letting go
And place it in Your hands
The string of kite that im not capable of holding
Will i get to hold it back again
I do not know
But one thing im confident of
It will soar high
Really high
With You...

A time for rain and a time for rainbow
Hope that will never fade
Hope that will only appear after every storm
Yet, right now
I just want to sit alone
In the season of crystal bead of raindrops
That beat out a beautiful melody
Every drops that fall on me...

“For three things will abide forever- faith, hope and love- and the greatest of these is love.”
1Corinthians 13:13

Daddy, let me remain let me hide in Your love forever...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Smell of Rain

A beautiful story, a beautiful sharing...

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news.

That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing.
At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs.

"I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could.

"There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one."

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived. She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on.

"No! No!" was all Diana could say.

She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away.

But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love.

All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.

At last, when Dana turned two months old. her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.

Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment.

Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story.

One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent. Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked,

"Do you smell that?"

Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied,

"Yes, it smells like rain."

Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?"

Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain."

Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced,

"No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."

Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.

During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end. Sometimes we dont see Him, but one thing for sure, He is always there, cradling us in His arms just as how a Father will lovingly carry His children, protecting them from the storms and thunders.

Tat is the warmest and strongest arms the world could not offer.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Till we meet again at Home

Specially dedicated to a special man in my life

6 Sept 2008 ...

I hold them in my hands,

So cold, so pale.

The coldness of the palm told me,

No amount of warm tears,

could bring back the temperature of the hands again,

no amount of calling,

would make ur eyes open and look at me again,

no amount of grief n brokenness,

can make the sound of heart thumping to be heard again.

I bowed down,

For the last time i speak to you face to face,

“Pa, I will take good care of mum and sis.
I will be a daughter that will do you proud.
We shall meet again in heaven, ok?
A promise.”

For the last time i pray for you,

“God, i am surrendering this man into ur loving hands.
Bring him to a place free of suffering and pain.
Take him home, a place to where he belongs.”

Last kiss, last goodbye.

8 Sept 2008 ...

Last journey,

I completed it with you till the very end.

The body turns to dust and past will be carried away by wind,

But the soul has finally found his eternal shelter to rest.

That evening, it rained.

Rain that reminded me that its time to wash away sorrow and tears,

And start on a journey without you.

“You are a joyful man, your daughter wouldn’t be too bad either.”

Yet the heart that misses will always remain.

One day, i know,

I will meet both my Fathers again at Home.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Patient in Patience

Maybe to a patient

to the family that stays by side

every moment

what it requires

what it takes

is not just extra patience

to take up what may seems so unfair

but also extra love

to make up what disease has taken away

extra courage

to be prepared of what is unseen ahead

extra hope

to continue trusting that prayers whispered every nite

will be answered even when it takes a longer time


extra faith

to hang on even what is left on the palm

is helplessness...

"Sometimes if the ships of prayer do not come home speedily,it is because they are more heavily laden with blessings."

Lord,im still waiting for the ship to reach its destination, to the place where it belongs to.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Crowd or The Cross

As we walk down the path

The crowd's cheering

Their sound of persuasion

Their hands that waved signalling us to follow

So luring...

So attractive...

So tempting...

Have our eyes been so obsessed by the it

That they no longer can see or notice

The little cross ahead

The logs where bloods were once shed

The trees where all the sins were paid n forgiven

The place where the mission of a carpenter is finished

The point where we are given a chance

to start again.

Tis is where we belong...

The most simple yet most difficult question,

The Crowd or The Cross,

Have u decided?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


Couldn't stand the Friday afternoon in Akasia

So off we go

Me n Betty

Two young ladies

Exploring the new ways of using our camera lens

to capture what human eyes always missed

in a place that no one will actually take the effort to stop

But if ever one day

u slow down ur steps

to pause awhile

maybe u will discover

the spirit of flower that speaks

the eye that blinks

the rhythm of flowing water that sings

and the hands of God that creates =)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Beautiful Saviour

Beautiful Saviour
God of all Majesty
Risen king.

Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star.

All the heavens shout your praise
All creation bow to worship You.

How wonderful
how beautiful
Name above every name
exalted high
How wonderful
how beautiful
Jesus your name
name above every name
I will sing forever
Jesus I love you
Jesus I love you


when there are no way turn to anymore
when all that is left is a dead end in front
when i am too weary to go on anymore
when i am too weak to even hold on anymore
i pray
i ask
i cry

please dont ever let go of your hands that are holding me
thats all i am left with now...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Clown's Prayer

The Clown's Prayer
As I stumble through this life
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child,
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people,
make them happy,
and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment,
may I hear You whisper:
“When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.”

There is a clown hidden in the heart of all.
Have u allowed the joy and light of a clown to shine
from within u?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Man VS Men


Man laughs,
Men are there to double up the happiness.

Man weeps,
Men are there to wipe away his tears and divide his sorrow.

Man falls,
Men are behind ready to catch him.

Man runs,
Men are running alongside to cheer and support.

Man stands on stage,
Men sit quietly down there taking down his glorious moment.

Man got weary,
Men are there to offer their shoulders to be leaned on.

Man got lost,
Men will be his light bearers to guide him back on track.

Man soar new height,
Men are down there giving him their best applause.

Man sits in gloom,
Men will be his sunshine to brighten up his sky.

Man go for war,
Men will be his best advisors to work out a strategy together on next step to take.

Man stop and couldn't continue anymore,
Men stretch out their hands and promise to walk hand-in-hand with him.

Man will never be alone,
because Men are always there for him.

I am glad and grateful,
to be a Man,
surrounded by Men.
I am trying my best,
to be the Men for you all.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Chase

A dog chases its tail
It runs
It pounce on it
Yet it never gets to touch it.

I chase after the wind
I run
I try to grab it
Yet nothing stays in my palm.

If it will stop going in rounds and move on
If i will just stop my steps and close my eyes
the tail will follow behind it
the breeze will kiss my cheeks.

As we chase after nothing
In nothingness.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ending or Beginning?

2007 has ended. Looking back,it has really been an incredible, dramatical journey year for me.

To give it a start, I started the first ever "proper" job in my life as an account clerk in a food supplier company. Before i decided to take up this job, i found a job as a salesgirl (thats what usually Spm leavers will normally do isn't it?). But somehow the arrogant, overbearing self seems to protest that isn't it abit of err...waste of talent after all the efforts put in all these years but nowhere to utilize these knowledge that i have gained? In this small tiny boutique? Of course not! And so here i move on from a shop into an air-conditioned office.
Wuhoo, awesome an easy job huh?Yet God said : You are wrong, girl! It wasn't really that comfortable, that carefree, that easy working in an office okay. First , you have to sacrifice your freedom by trapping yourself in that square space with only a computer , calculator and one colleague as company. This is totally unimaginable for a person like me who will die if I stop talking or making noise for more than 10 minutes. Scary...Then what you deal with each day each minute each second from 8am to 5pm are numbers, numbers, and still numbers.
Phew, Im so glad that i survived and managed to escape from there 3 months later. Although it had been a suffering more than a pleasure to me, i have to admit that i do learnt alot there and also getting clearer of my future direction. I will never do something got to do with accounts again!

Next come another headache. What to study and where to study. The most surprising thing is that I never ever expect that i will get into matriculation, which seems even harder than getting an A for my Arts. I asked, i thought, i consider, i struggled. Alot had advised me to stay for STPM, but in the end i still chose to leave since thats God's will.

First time leaving home, it turns out to be worse that what i could think of. No family, no friends, everything have to start from the scratch. The rushing syllabus,stressful unstoppable tests and limited freedom made me even want to escape from this invisible cage. I began to wonder is my stubborness to leave in the beginning made me get what i deserved now? I cried. I thought i was strong enough, but sadly no. Father, I don't like it here. Father, save me from here. This is what i whispered to Him every night under my blankets in tears. He heard me, He answered me. He wiped away my tears. The next thing i know is to receive a call from a friend telling me that my appeal for JPA had succeded. Another miracle.

This is the scholarship most of us dreamt of, because it offers us a chance to further our studies overseas without burdening our family. It seems so faraway, so impossible. Yet, i got it. God is so gracious to me that He made all the impossible possible. I was offered Pharmacy Twinning in IMU. I have to say my family, my principal seem to be happier than i am. Yeah i can run away from matrics but to be honest is pharmacy really suits me? Will i give up half-way again like what happened in matrics? Is this really what i want? Too many questions, too many uncertainties. Once again, i decided to surrender my future, my destiny, my life into His hands to follow what He had planned for me.

Second time leaving home, it was certainly much more easier to adapt to life here. But the biggest difference i found here in Intec is the people here. God did not put me here alone. He gave me a big big family of Christ that i never thought of. They are always there for me, happy or sad. I found a sense of familiarity and warmth even in this faraway land from home. First, we have Campus Alive here, which connects every of the brothers and sisters in Christ here together which gives us the opportunity to draw closer to God in the process of learning and growing.

Then i get to attend church, a chance i never had before this. Another big, cute ,warm family gifted by God. Of course not to forget my comrades who have been fighting all along with me till now, never give up and never forget to tell you that You are never alone in this journey.

I have alot of sweet memories here, because they are shared.

Christmas time. A season of love and blessings. Apart from all the gifts, cards, santa claus lies the true meaning of the birth of Christ. A symbolism of hope, peace and joy. This year christmas is special because i have my room mate Steffie and my sis Pae Chen here with me, joining us in carolling. House to house we sang, spreading the joy of christmas around. Able to meet all the Yfers again is what im thankful for. God knows how much i miss them.

So yeah this is roughly what happened throughout the year of 2007, year of new height. Moved from Kluang to Tangkak, then to Shah Alam and lastly back to Kluang again. If you never leave home, leave your friends behind, you wouldn't know how much you gonna miss them. If you never take a step out, you wouldn't know how borderless is the world outside there. If you neverf fall before you will never know how much it hurts and how much it meant for that helping hand to give you a pull to help you stand on your feet again.

It wasn't a smooth journey for me. Instead God took me up the mountains, down the valleys, through bushes of thorns, dry deserts. experience storms, strong winds and get to taste the feelings of lost. But just as every Father wants to see the best out of their children, He sent us off on a rocky path for us to grow, mature and one day metamorphose into that beautiful butterfly he set us to be. His faithful hands will never let go of mine in this walk with Him.

2008, instead of setting my eyes on Beijing Olympic Games which i will never get a chance to take part in, i chose to focus on God. I asked him for directions. I prayed for him to continue making that difference in me so that i could be that difference for others. I asked for Him to blow off that layer of dust covering me so that i could shine for him from within.

2008, God i want to present an interesting story of mine for you.

Stay tuned !

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test He will receive the crown of Life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12